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Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Voice

In the beginning, I suffered from a silent voice, but now I experience a surge of radiant energy.
I was taught to be quiet, meek and obedient.
No questioning.
Muffled voice. 

Then I discovered art! The process of creating helped me open my voice.
The canvas is quiet, non judgmental; the pencils are strong and bold; the lines can be small or thick, the paper is willing to take anything. The chalks love to be mixed, smoothed and blended. On a collage, the images wait to be chosen. They sit patiently as they are arranged in a manner that represents the artist’s feelings. Each one is carefully chosen to depict the happy, the angered, the hopeful or the scared one.
In the finished product, each image is aligned and positioned just as the creator wants it.
The main concept is that through art, there are no judgments, criticisms, pure freedom from any critical voices…just you and the paper, brushes, paints or pencils.
Your vibration is a reflection of what your spirit is made up of. Let it reverberate throughout. Let others feel and see your vibrant rays of words, images and art.

Monica Ibarra-Robbins

Sunday, October 18, 2009

My Soul Seeks Serenity

My soul needs a home
it wanders without direction,
it floats without a rutter.
Only adrift,
moving with each gust of wind,
back and forth, any which way.
No one taking command, no one at the helm.
Loneliness is the only one that steers it.

My soul needs to feel at peace.
As the cold, salty tear drops flow out,
the cry for safety and comfort echo.
My voice box aches from strain,
as the silent screams reverberate.
Hoping, but never finding the way,
to the brilliant light that may guide me to the peaceful path.
Hopelessness and confusion darkens the road I travel.

My soul longs for unconditional love.
Where is it? Who is it? And how is it found?
So many questions, but no one to answer them.
My doubts and fears do not fade,
they only accumulate, creating a dense mound.
When and how will I know the positive path to peace?

My soul longs for forgiveness.
Please Lord, cleanse me of my dark and gloomy past.
Although, I am undeserving of good and honest love,
Please, give me another chance to prove myself to You.
Bless me from up above
May the Holy Spirit enter my decomposed soul
so, I may live, breathe and funnel your majestic energy.
I will spread and transfer this blessing to others.

Monica Ibarra-Robbins

Friday, October 16, 2009

Clipped Wings

Clipped Wings

Hidden and buried is my true self.
Where did the playful, free-spirited girl go?
I allow my black, heavy soul to darken my vision
and squelch my curious, adventurous being.
My crimes, my sins, my guilt
muffle my voice and cripple my movement.

Meekly, yet obediently I wear my crown of thorns
and carry my wooden cross.
All my hopes have dissipated,
existing only in the realm of the unconscious.
I silently scream and cry for comfort.
My sadness, my anger, my frustration
dampen my motivation and paralyze my actions.

Many parts of me have zoned out.
no response, no focus, no attention
After so many years of desperation,
my desires and dreams have dissipated.
There is no sign or light to direct me
My fear, my unhappiness, my loneliness
blur my vision and obstruct my progress.

So, I can only fantasize about my flight to freedom.
Sensing joy, loving openly, laughing heartily.
I can only imagine
to jump, laugh and express freely,
without the fear of rejection or judgment.
To flap my arms and feel the sensation of lift off.
My terror, my doubt, my confusion
clip my wings and keep me incarcerated.

Monica Ibarra-Robbins

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I Surrender

I Surrender

For years, I existed under the control
of the "Eating Monster".
Every day there was darkness
Every day there was fear
Every day there was anxiety
Every day went by, without me knowing it.

The battle began every time I felt hungry
My mind questioned, "Why?"
My stomach questioned, "Why not?"
Every day there was a struggle with the “ Eating Monster”.
It did not last long,
the voice inside of my mind won every time.

Yet, one day a miracle occurred.
I am not sure how it happened
or when it exactly happened.
But, I noticed that I was choosing to do other things
Somehow, the monsters’ power was not so strong
I would hear his voice
But, I was choosing not to fall in his trance.

Instead, I chose to ask God for help
He now works through me
and He gives me strength.
Now, I have allowed God to intercede in my struggle with this monster.
He calms,
quiets and soothes my soul.

I will be honest
The monster is not gone for good.
Ever so often, it comes out to prey on me
and I may tumble.
However, now there is a difference
I do not fall so hard
and I am not in the trance as long.

I have learned that alone
I was unable to fend off this "Eating Monster".
But, with His strength and wisdom
I can live and thrive, not just survive.