I Surrender

I Surrender

For years, I existed under the control
of the "Eating Monster".
Every day there was darkness
Every day there was fear
Every day there was anxiety
Every day went by, without me knowing it.

The battle began every time I felt hungry
My mind questioned, "Why?"
My stomach questioned, "Why not?"
Every day there was a struggle with the “ Eating Monster”.
It did not last long,
the voice inside of my mind won every time.

Yet, one day a miracle occurred.
I am not sure how it happened
or when it exactly happened.
But, I noticed that I was choosing to do other things
Somehow, the monsters’ power was not so strong
I would hear his voice
But, I was choosing not to fall in his trance.

Instead, I chose to ask God for help
He now works through me
and He gives me strength.
Now, I have allowed God to intercede in my struggle with this monster.
He calms,
quiets and soothes my soul.

I will be honest
The monster is not gone for good.
Ever so often, it comes out to prey on me
and I may tumble.
However, now there is a difference
I do not fall so hard
and I am not in the trance as long.

I have learned that alone
I was unable to fend off this "Eating Monster".
But, with His strength and wisdom
I can live and thrive, not just survive.